Marte skrev dette til meg på face for ca. en uke siden:
Hei du! Kikka gjennom tekstene mine igjen og fant en novelle som jeg skreiv i første klasse. Den er på engelsk da, men fant ut at den passer ganske bra for ungdom. Den handler om en jente på 16 som blir gravid og hu er helt bestemt på å ta abort, men den dagen hu skal det så ombestemmer hu seg og blir skikkelig glad osv, men sååååå skjer det noe på slutten. hihih.
Sikkert mange som synes det er dumt at den er engelsk og sånt, så du velger selv om du vil poste den, MEN å lese engelsk er veldig god trening da.
Ja, jeg har lagt merke til at dere er ikke så særlig glad i å lese verken nynorsk eller engelsk her på bloggen. Haha! Men det er ikke så farlig, dere har godt av litt engelsk en gang i blant også J Nyt teksten til Marte fordi hun er ikke bare god i norsk, men også engelsk denna 'berta' her! <3
Please. I bit my lower lip. Please. I closed my eyes and prayed to God. Please! My fists were so tightly wrapped around each other that my knuckles were all white and I could hardly breathe as she entered the room. ''Everything looks just fine, Ms Taylor. Your blood samples came back just now and yes, you are pregnant.'' She closed her journal and looked at me with a half caring smile. Oh fuck!
All right, so I was pregnant. That kind of sucked. I walked out of the doctor's office, just staring down at the ground while my feet moved quickly under me. I felt like a cold robot. I could not have a baby! Certainly not. I wrapped my jeans-jacket tighter around me and started to search around in my pocket for a cigarette. I fired up and inhaled. ?This baby has to go?, I said to myself. And just as I said that, I wanted to cry. The word ''baby'' would never sound the same again.
There was not much talking at the dinner table. It was usually like this, so I knew that my parents didn't suspect a thing. My mom sat at the end, looking just as stiffly as always. Her blonde hair was perfectly tied back in a tail, and her black turtleneck sweater and her black skirt were flawless. She was flawless all around, and she made us, her family, seem flawless as well. If she only knew? ''Could you be so kind to pass me the carrots, sweetheart?'' My dad interrupted my thoughts and looked at me with a soft smile. He was the nicest person I knew, my dad. He was a humble Southern man from Texas, USA and he was the total opposite of my cold, British mom. I could never figure out what he saw in her, but then again my dad always saw the best in people. That was why I hated this baby thing so much. I had to let him down. I had to give up being his little girl and start to act like my mom. An abortion would after all be exactly what she would have done.
Since there was not going to be a baby what so ever, there was no need to tell my parents. I could easily make an appointment by my self. But I really felt a need to get the secret of my chest, so by the end of the week I had decided to tell my best friend June. We had agreed to meet outside my house and then go for a walk. ''Hey hoe!'' June walked towards me with her arms open, ready to embrace me. Her curly hair was dancing all over her head and a pair of retro Ray Ban's covered her eyes. She wore a leather jacket and acid bleached jeans. Those were her favourite jeans and she wore them almost every single day. I told her about my situation right away and her reaction was almost as I imagined - just a little worse. She couldn?t figure out though, how I could be so calm in the middle of all this. I was calm, I really was, but I realized that I never had a total break down. Wasn't that normal when you found out you were pregnant at age sixteen?
I walked with June to her home a few hours later. I was going to meet Andrew, my boyfriend, outside the supermarket. He finished his shift there at seven pm, so I still had a few hours to kill. To entertain my self, I took a walk in the park. Not much of entertainment, but I felt like I could breathe and let my mind go along with the wind. This day was a beautiful day, it was the first sunny day in April actually, so many people were out enjoying the park. Among them were many moms. I felt my heart break a little every single time I saw a mom pick her newborn baby up from its carriage. It hit me that I had never really considered my options, but I had a plan figured out and I was going to stick with it. Still, the pictures of me with a stroller and baby-bag were not too far away.
Andrew and I had been neighbours forever, we grew up together and we had always been close friends. Sometimes it actually felt more like we were just friends than lovers. ''I am pregnant.'' I said to him as soon as I saw him coming towards me. He just looked at me without making a single movement with his face. ''I know.'' I didn't ask. I had been avoiding him for the two last week, so it was no wonder that he had figured it out. ''I am taking it away''. His face was still frozen. ''I figured.'' He took my hand. ''Look, Amanda, we could...'' I gently coved his mouth with my hand. ''Don't. Please, don't say it. I know how you feel about this. Please, let's just be... quiet.'' He nodded. Andrew was the sweetest guy I knew, but I was not in love with him. He was my boyfriend, but that was all he was ever going to be. His brown eyes looked up at me. ''Fine, so see you tomorrow then'' He asked. ''Thursday. See you Thursday''.
The next day I felt like a giant volcano. I had been in and out of the bathroom the entire night. I don't know if the cause was the so-called morning sickness or the fact that my doctor's appointment was this exact day. Either way I felt like crap and when I stopped in front of the mirror I realized that I also looked like that way. My face was swollen and pail, my hair was a mess and my eyes looked tired. I rejected the girl in the mirror and walked over to my window instead. This is going to be a nice day as well, I thought, even though there were some dark clouds far, far away. I closed the curtains and turned away, but just as I did that I felt a movement in my stomach. My baby! My mind started spinning and all my thoughts went blurry except from one: me in the park with my baby. Oh my God, it moved again! I placed both my hands on my stomach and I smiled. For the first time in my pregnancy, I smiled. ''I have to cancel the appointment''. I said and was surprised by my own words. But I knew I was right and I knew that being a mom for this baby was the right thing to do! I started laughing a little when I realized how quickly I changed my mind and how right it felt. ''Andrew! I have to call Andrew!'' I said out loud and immediately stopped laughing and started to search for my phone. ''Hello, Andrew speaking.'' I felt my heart jump of joy when I heard his voice. ''Hey, darling, it's me. I've got something to tell you.'' He didn't say a thing, but I knew he was anxious. ''I am keeping our baby!'' I shouted. ''Oh hunny, that is the greatest news! You know, you got me fooled there for a second! But you are alright and I, I mean, God, I just love you so much and...'' His words faded to me. I felt a bit dizzy and I tried to say something to him, but the words wouldn't come out. A sharp pain hit me in the stomach and I dropped the phone out of my hands. I screamed as I fell down on the floor, feeling something drip from my panties. It was blood. The pain got worse and I cried and cried. Please! The pool of blood started to increase. Please! Then it all went black.